Updated: Dec 6, 2019
Alright so let’s be real…forgiveness is something that we ALL struggle with at some point in our lives. It definitely isn’t always easy, especially when you have been wrongfully hurt. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair. Other times, it seems so hard to let go, that anxiety fills your entire being. We struggle to forgive because we have been told that by forgiving, we are letting the other person “win”.
This is something we need to learn now. There is no such thing as “winning” when it comes to fighting and forgiving. If you are holding onto anger, the only one that you are hurting is yourself. People literally go their entire lives holding grudges, when all it is doing is impacting their health and happiness. Imagine how much better your life would be, if you weren’t carrying baggage from others and your past? It sounds pretty AMAZING, if you ask me.
With that being said, this isn’t a blog where I am going to tell you that this is all so easy and everyone needs to forgive immediately. Honestly, I struggle with forgiveness. The Italian in me loves to hold onto grudges. I still have things that I am working on forgiving, that literally happened when I was five! It sounds crazy right?
It is crazy, yet we all struggle with it, because in the end, we all just want to be loved and accepted. It is not easy to accept that someone hurt you or that maybe they don’t want to be in your life anymore. That sh*t sucks, yet, in the end it’s a blessing. It is just a matter of seeing the situation for its truth, or allowing this ONE, SMALL, situation to negatively impact the rest of your life. That is when we are giving our power away. That is when we are allowing this one small thing to take control and make our lives into something it was never meant to be.
Throughout the last few years, I have started to realize that in order to embody the greatest version of myself, I must let go. It was time for me to forgive and move forward. One day, it all made sense to me. I realized that if I continued to hold onto this anger or sadness, it would only hurt me, as anger and sadness are extremely lower vibrational energies, which will be stored within the body. Over time, these lower vibrations will create blocks in our energy fields, which will then lead to things like cancer.
This was extremely eye-opening to me. I also realized that in order to give my all to my clients, I must also work on being the best me. How can I expect my clients to forgive and let go, if I am struggling with this myself? It is definitely easier to give advice, that’s for sure!!!
As I began on this healing journey, other realizations began to come through. I realized that, I actually chose for these individuals to come into my life and hurt me in such a way, so I could learn! This was a hard pill to swallow. At first I was like, “was I crazy??? Why would I EVER do that to myself?
Can you relate?
Through continued surrender, this realization began to make total sense. I began to see that these individuals or situations have been my greatest tests. They have taught me so many things about myself and life in general. They also have taught me that there are two sides to every story. Maybe my actions hurt them as well!
I was learning how to better handle situations. These individuals and situations were teaching me to see from another perspective. I was beginning to understand that sometimes hurt people act out for attention. Even though it wasn’t always easy to forgive, I began to thank these people and situations. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Although they continue to test me, I appreciate it. I appreciate the lessons it is teaching me. I appreciate the patience it is giving me. I appreciate the mirror it is presenting to me.
We are all mirrors of each other. When we are reacting to another person, we must take a step back and ask ourselves, what within me is unresolved? In reality, if we were healed and perfect on the inside, we wouldn’t be reacting in such a way. Therefore, it is so important to remember, if you are reacting, there is something unresolved within you.
The more we try to avoid these unresolved issues, the more similar circumstances will show up in our lives. Its like an alarm clock that is going off, yet we are constantly hitting snooze. Finally, after enough snoozes, we wake up! That is essentially what is happening here. Similar cycles will continue, until we face the truth and heal.
So, getting back to what I was saying…we assign every single person into our lives, LONG before coming down to earth. They are part of your soul contract that must be fulfilled on earth. Whether they are here to teach you lessons, support you, or help you balance out karmic cycles. No matter what, you chose them! You wanted them to play that role in this lifetime. Chances are, they begged you to not choose them! They didn’t want to hurt you or cause you pain. On a soul level, they wanted to come down and live a happy life with you. However, you insisted that they must play this role so you could learn specific lessons and evolve on a soul level. Eventually they agreed, but I can promise you, they definitely were not excited about it.
It isn’t easy for us to grasp this right away, as we have our ego and we have emotions. That is totally okay. Be gentle with yourself and honor your emotions. It will not do you any good to try to shove your emotions down. Let them come to the surface, but then work to release them. Write forgiveness letters, yell, scream, cry. Do whatever you need in order to do to heal. Try to see from the others perspective. Remind yourself that you chose them, therefore, ask yourself, “what lessons are they teaching me?”
The more we can incorporate this into our everyday lives, the better life is going to get. We will begin to feel happier. We will become healthier. We will be able to live out our best lives yet.
It isn’t always easy to forgive and let go, however, always remember that forgiveness is for YOU. You are choosing to release, so YOU can move forward in the best ways possible. This does NOT mean that you have to be the best of friends or start dating again, however, this DOES mean that you need to see them in love and move on.
Honor the challenges. Honor those who have hurt you. They are teaching you the greatest lessons.
I see you. I thank you. I love you. I forgive you.